


never really over

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fanmix, Separations, Swan Queen Supernova 2019 (Once Upon a Time)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-09-26 13:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20390341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: When Emma's band gets the chance to open for a big name band on their latest tour, she's torn between following her dream and staying home with her wife, Regina, and their son, Henry.  Regina's encouragement to follow her dreams triggers Emma's abandonment issues and she leaves for the tour before they can resolve their misunderstanding. Divorce papers arrive a few months later, which Regina signs to make Emma happy.  Spoiler alert: Neither is happy with the divorce.  Cut to two years later and Emma's back in town.  A chance meeting shows they still love each other just as much, but are they willing to put in the work to deal with their issues to get back to being a happy family again?





	never really over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InTheName](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheName/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Never Really Over](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673242) by [InTheName](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheName/pseuds/InTheName). 

> **Creator's Notes:** This is intended as a modern, non-magical AU where Henry is much younger than we saw in canon, so Regina and Emma could be equally younger, as well. Or, if the author has a completely different take on this mix from the basic plot that came to me while creating it, feel free to play around with it.
> 
> **Musical Notes:** I love doing fanmixes. Music is such a _HUGE_ part of my life, and I love introducing people to new music. For the first time in a long time, I chose not to focus solely on female artists/bands for this fanmix. It just felt more organic to have the right songs off the bat without having to worry about who sang it. As it is, I still had about half the tracks with female vocalists, so I'm okay with that. The title of this fanmix came from the Katy Perry song "Never Really Over", and I fell in love with it _before_ I read the lyrics and realized I'd misremembered the song's intentions.

## Listen here: [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLASfIBWbiVC9MZQ_5Xk3cZp8QpBA-rI0v) // [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7oVGIWKJ0OEDqLI5Z96a9a?si=Ea-PXk-wT6OM0kAym6cZxw) // [Playmoss](https://playmoss.com/en/ariestess/playlist/never-really-over)

* * *

##  **Family or Fame?**

**Happy -- P!nk**  
Written by Steph Jones, P!nk, Sasha Sloan, & Teddy Geiger

I’ve been with somebody who loves me  
And I’ve been tryna believe it’s true, mmm  
But my head always messes up my heart  
No matter what I do

Seen every therapist, but I’m a cynical bitch  
Don’t like to talk about my feelings  
I take another sip, I swear it’s my last fix  
‘Cause it’s easier than healing

'Cause I don’t wanna be this way forever  
Keep telling myself that I’ll get better  
Every time I try, I always stop me  
Maybe I’m just scared to be happy  
I don’t wanna be this way forever  
Keep telling myself that I’ll get better  
Every time I try, I always stop me  
Maybe I’m just scared to be happy

**GET UP -- Shinedown**  
Written by Eric Bass & Brent Smith

I know you're clingin' to the light of day  
To tell you everything's A-okay  
And medication don't do much  
Yeah, it just numbs the brain

Guess you might say I'm a little intense  
I'm on the bright side of bein' hell bent  
So, take it from me, you're not the only one  
Who can't see straight (Can't see straight)

If you were ever in doubt  
Don't sell yourself short, you might be bulletproof  
Hard to move mountains when you're paralyzed  
But you gotta try, and I'm callin' out

**Dreamchaser -- Derek Holley**  
Written by Derek Holley

When your passion turns to pain  
You will see that there's a reason  
To go through it all again  
You must answer this question  
Why would you give up  
This dream that you love  
Life is only one chance  
So become a dreamchaser

##  **The Breakup**

**Speak Your Mind -- Alice Merton**  
Written by Nicolas Rebscher & Alice Merton

I know that you know me  
And I know you better than you think you might know yourself  
So why do you still act so lonely?  
You know that you're my only  
Do you know that it's hard for me?  
To watch you sink away and act so differently?  
'Cause nowadays you seem so far away from me  
So out of reach  
So out of reach

Won't you speak your mind?  
There's a silence in the room and it is killing me  
Speak your mind  
There's a silence in the room and it is killing me  
Speak your mind  
There's a silence in the room and it is killing me  
Speak your mind  
Won't you come out of the corner and say?

**Chemicals -- Halestorm**  
Songwriters: Elizabeth Hale / Joseph Hottinger / JOSHUA BRIAN SMITH / AREJAY HALE

And people like to say I'm sick  
Try to find the wrong it in it  
Keep saying that I don't belong  
Tell me something's wrong

But you bleed like me  
And you breathe like me  
Yeah you hurt like me  
We're all made of chemicals

You love like me  
Have a heart that beats  
Yeah you're just like me  
Chemicals

Spiderwebs and dial tones  
Some days there's just no one home  
Why can't the world leave me alone  
Trash my laptop, flush my phone

**Bad Liar - Stripped -- Imagine Dragons**  
Written by Imagine Dragons, Jorgen Odegard, Daniel Platzman, Ben McKee, Wayne Sermon, Aja Volkman & Dan Reynolds

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?  
Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?  
Oh, I've been askin' for—  
Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems  
I wage my war, on the world inside  
I take my gun to the enemy's side  
Oh, I've been askin' for— (Trust me, darlin')  
Oh, I've been askin' for (Trust me, darlin') problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes (Eyes), tell me what you see (You see)  
Perfect paradise (—Dise), tearin' at the seams (Seams)  
I wish I could escape it (Escape), I don't wanna fake it  
Wish I could erase it (Erase), make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, now you know  
I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be  
I can't be what you want me to be  
Believe me, this one time  
Believe me

**Breathe Again -- Sleeping At Last**  
Written by Sara Bareilles

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth  
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view  
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart  
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe  
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something  
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

It hurts to be here  
I only wanted love from you  
It hurts to be here  
What am I gonna do?  
What am I gonna do?

**Last Hello -- Melissa Etheridge**  
Written by Melissa Etheridge

If you could see this moment  
See how the world was waking  
It's more than just a moment  
See how the world is changing  
To comprehend is slow  
That was our last hello  
How was I to know?

This day will end, and oh, I miss you  
I will rise again, and oh, I miss you  
I'll find the strength within  
To shout, "Never again"  
Wish I could see my friend  
Oh, I miss you

What started first as confusion  
Is turning into revolution  
What can I do? What can I be?  
No child should see what I have seen  
How was I to know  
That was our last hello?

##  **Two Years Apart**

**Poetry By Dead Men -- Sara Bareilles**  
Written by Justin Tranter & Sarah Bareilles

By the time you hear this, I'll be in the rearview mirror  
I'll even wear that green dress you like, so when I disappear  
You can turn around, one last look at the girl you lost  
In the time you took to make up your mind between two roads  
Go and take some more time, but me and mine must go

I tried to wait it out, no more  
I can't find the man I was waiting for

I wanted to be your girl in a white T-shirt  
Over coffee, stirrin' in the cinnamon  
While you read me poetry by dead men  
I wanted to be your girl with your hands on my skin  
Stirrin' in the cinnamon  
While you read me poetry by dead men  
(While you read me poetry by dead men)  
While you read me poetry by dead men

**Someone I Can Be Alone With -- Oh Land**  
Written by Adi Zukanović & Oh Land

One second  
One second at a time  
It's all I  
It's all I can do now  
I am facing a change that has left me blinded  
With no skills to navigate  
My head is exploding in slow motion  
While I'm making sense of it

Try not to worry about me  
I need just time to help me  
Try not to push for an answer  
Still meaningless

But when I'm catching my breath  
You'll be someone I can be alone with

**Sometimes -- The Alan Parsons Project, Lou Gramma**  
Written by Alan Parsons & Patrick Anthony Caddick

Sometimes you win  
Sometimes you lose  
Sometimes you try to keep love to yourself  
Cause you're tired of being used  
And so you learn  
What life's about  
The older grow wiser  
And fall in love  
Sometimes

So they think of good times past  
And all the things they thought would last  
Now there they go again  
A different where and when  
It's too late to defend  
Those feelings on the cuff  
And when they think they've had enough  
All the things they saved before  
Love became a chore  
Will live for evermore

**Cry Today, Smile Tomorrow -- Anthony Ramos**  
Written by William Wells & Anthony Ramos

And all...the troubles in my life won't bring me down  
And all...the struggles in my life they teach me how

How I'm perfectly imperfect  
And when it hurts, I just remember there's a purpose

So I'll cry today, smile tomorrow  
I cry today, smile tomorrow

And those nights, when I'm all alone  
Feeling defeated, and beaten, abandoned, and far from home  
I sit in silence on the sidelines as the world moves on  
With puzzled pieces in my palms, wondering what the hell I did wrong

##  **Emma's Back in Town**

**When I See You Again - 2017 Remaster -- Fleetwood Mac**  
Written by Stevie Nicks

When I see you again  
Will it be the same  
When I see you again  
Will it be over  
When I see you again  
Will your great eyes still say

What's the matter, baby

…

And the dream says I want you  
And the dream is gone  
So she stays up night on end  
Well at least there is a dream left  
If I see you again  
Will it be over  
If I see you again  
Will it be the same

**We Could Have It All -- P!nk**  
Written by P!nk, Beck, & Greg Kurstin

There were no black cats in our path  
I've been side-stepping cracks in the pavement  
Everybody thought we would be the ones to have it all  
I could be the one, we could be the ones to have it

First envy, then comes shame, then secrets, and then blame  
The quiet resignation on your face  
You've spoken all your truths, you're shaken and you're bruised  
There's nothing left to prove

Always, always, we could be  
What you promised me  
So close, so close, weren't we?  
We almost had it  
Always, always, you can get what you want  
But not what you need  
Someday, someday, you and me

We could have it all (We could have it all, we could have it all)

**Believe in Love -- MARINA**  
Written by OZGO & MARINA

You say that I'm different to the girls you dated  
You say that you found me, I'm the one you waited for (On and on)  
Guess I need to trust you when you say you love me  
Every day you say that you've been thinking of me, on (On and on)

And my mood, it changes all the time  
I smile with tears in my eyes  
But I can't be acting like this  
Doubting you for the rest of my life

Ooh, I need to believe in love  
Why is what you give never enough?  
Losing you is what I'm afraid of  
I need to believe, believe in love

**Same Old Lang Syne -- Jonathan Coulton**  
Written by Dan Fogelberg

I said the years had been a friend to her  
And that her eyes were still as blue  
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I  
Saw doubt or gratitude

She said she saw me in the record stores  
And that I must be doing well  
I said the audience was heavenly  
But the traveling was hell

We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to now  
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness  
But neither one knew how

We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to time  
Reliving in our eloquence  
Another 'auld lang syne'

**Hold Me 'Til The Morning Comes -- Paul Anka, Peter Cetera**  
Written by David Foster & Paul Anka

Where shall we start? Tender words that we can share  
Different beliefs, in time we will get there  
Look at us now, wanting more than words can say  
Both falling for love but distant all the way

Out there lost are the words, I still love you  
But they're worth the reaching for  
Do you love me anymore, darling?

Hold me till the morning comes  
Until I see your smile  
Take all the sadness from your eyes  
Hold me till the morning sun  
Let me stay we've just begun

##  **Back Together Again**

**See You Through My Eyes -- The Head and the Heart**  
Written by : Anastasia Laura Whiteacre, Jonathan Eric Russell, & Michael James Ryan Busbee

It's been a few years since I watched you leave  
And there's still so much of you left in me  
But as time would show us  
No one ever stops the wind from blowing  
I was waiting on you  
You were waiting on me to  
Change into something, baby  
Change is a beautiful thing

Until you learn to love yourself  
The door is locked to someone else  
_I'm just as damaged as you are  
Scattered to pieces with you gone_  
Without the dark, there is no light  
But don't give the dust an instant night  
_I saw the signs you were leaving  
But I didn't wanna believe it_

This could be so easy  
If you could see you through my eyes  
I tell myself not to let it go  
Hold on to something so beautiful  
This could be so easy  
If you could see you through my eyes  
I tell myself not to let it go  
Hold on to something so beautiful

**The Point of Arrival -- Carrie Newcomer**  
Written by Carrie Newcomer

What is to become of me  
Here at my surrendering  
Where I arrive at the end  
The place where I begin again

First we fold in, then open out  
There is a faith that’s only found in doubt  
Acceptance is the closing cycle  
The end that marks the point of arrival

This is where I lay down  
What I don't want to haul around  
The buzzing of what can't be seen  
And living always in-between.

**Never Really Over -- Katy Perry**  
Written by Hayley Warner, Katy Perry, Dagny, Michelle Buzz, Jason Gill, Farrago, Zedd, Leah Haywood, & Daniel James

Two years, and just like that  
My head still takes me back  
Thought it was done, but I  
Guess it's never really over

Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over  
And if I think it over, maybe you'll be coming over again  
And I'll have to get over you all over again  
(And I'll have to get over you all over again)  
Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over  
And if I think it over, maybe you'll be coming over again  
And I'll have to get over you all over again  
(Over you all over again)

**Solace - The Rainbow Version -- Ketil Bjørnstad**  
Written by Ketil Bjørnstad

{Instrumental}

##  **Basic Plot**

Regina and Emma are married and raising 2-3yo Henry. Emma's a musician and has had a hard life, complete with a chemical imbalance that she refuses to treat for fear it'll ruin her creativity. Emma's band gets the chance to open for a big name band on their latest tour. Emma's torn between following her dream and staying home with her family. Regina encourages Emma to take the chance with the tour, but Emma's abandonment issues rear their ugly head and she leaves in a huff for the tour before they can resolve the misunderstanding. A few months later, Regina receives divorce papers in the mail, which she signs to make Emma happy, but it just makes both women miserable. Emma makes sure to support Henry financially, but doesn’t come around for the next 2-3 years because of the tour and thinking that Regina hates her. After two years, Emma is home and staying with her parents, and runs into Regina. They fight, but the love is clearly still between them and their 5yo son wants them back together again. It's a rocky road, but Emma's been working on getting herself better on the road and is willing to do whatever it takes to get her wife and her family back again.

##  **POV Breakdown based on Basic Plot**

**Family or Fame?**

  * Happy -- P!nk [Emma POV] 
  * GET UP -- Shinedown [both POVs] 
  * Dreamchaser -- Derek Holley [Regina POV]

**The Breakup**

  * Speak Your Mind -- Alice Merton [Regina POV] 
  * Chemicals -- Halestorm [Emma POV] 
  * Bad Liar - Stripped -- Imagine Dragons [Emma POV] 
  * Breathe Again -- Sleeping At Last [both POVs] 
  * Last Hello -- Melissa Etheridge [Regina POV]

**Two Years Apart**

  * Poetry by Dead Men -- Sara Bareilles [both POVs] 
  * Someone I Can Be Alone With -- Oh Land [Emma POV] 
  * Sometimes -- The Alan Parsons Project, Lou Gramma [both POVs] 
  * Cry Today, Smile Tomorrow -- Anthony Ramos [both POVs]

**Emma's Back in Town**

  * When I See You Again - 2017 Remaster -- Fleetwood Mac [both POVs] 
  * We Could Have It All -- P!nk [Regina POV] 
  * Believe in Love -- MARINA [Regina POV] 
  * Same Old Lang Syne -- Jonathan Coulton [Emma POV] 
  * Hold Me 'Til The Morning Comes -- Paul Anka, Peter Cetera [Emma POV]

**Back Together Again**

  * See You Through My Eyes -- The Head and the Heart [both POVs] 
  * The Point of Arrival -- Carrie Newcomer [Regina POV] 
  * Never Really Over -- Katy Perry [both POVs] 
  * Solace - The Rainbow Version -- Ketil Bjørnstad [both POVs]

* * *

**Resources**

  * [Regina image](https://www.tvguide.com/news/once-upon-a-times-lana-parrilla-regina-perfect-match-season-7/)
  * [Emma image](https://onceuponatime.fandom.com/wiki/Emma_Swan)
  * [Henry image](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2765519/mediaviewer/rm2234693888)
  * Fonts Used :: Freestyle Script, Poor Richard, Arial  

  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Never Really Over](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673242) by [InTheName](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheName/pseuds/InTheName)
  * [Abandoned](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792174) by [junetree74](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junetree74/pseuds/junetree74)


End file.
